cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
