Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He shit in the fireplace
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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