My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
