So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
