i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
