I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
