it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
