I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize