guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
