Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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