new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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