oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
