I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just cropdusted the office
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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