I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
