so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
