walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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