Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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