i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
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