Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
