$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
