before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
