I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
