I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
