a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
