meet me or not, i'm out of control
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
