Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
