I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
