wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
No subtext here. People are naked.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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