Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
