i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
