he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
