piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
