i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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