So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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