in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Drake has all the answers
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
