Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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