I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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