I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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