Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
