Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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