Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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