This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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