Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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