If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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