I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
