We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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