I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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