dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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