I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
