Ambien. No doubt about it.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
