I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
