just tell him i said nine months
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
