the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
