You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
