Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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