she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
