Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
