Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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