fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
